I was back home after a week-long vacation that became a total disaster at the end. Everyone was bothering me and I got snatched away against my will twice!! Ugh... And Metal saw me cry. That was embarrassing...



Honestly, I blamed myself. I made Sonic and Tails concerned about a potential Eggman plot because I was so stubborn about the flowers... But if I never did that, I'd probably still be in denial. I didn't want to talk to anyone though... was that such a crime?



I did so much thinking over the week... thinking about pretty much everything. My life got turned completely upside down because one of the biggest sources of my love for Sonic wasn't from Sonic at all. I thought I knew a secret side of him... Instead, the secret side belonged to Eggman's favorite murder robot.



Metal left me flowers for years... then he read and kept all my letters. He gave me his letter. And... he knew where to find me. He asked me why I was crying. Even the fight we had was good stress relief...



I didn't know what to do. I felt guilty that I was actually happy to see him. Our exchanges for the past years never changed our main goals... It never made him good. In-between flowers, he turned into a giant dragon obsessed with world domination! Twice! Maybe Sonic wasn't affectionate towards me in the way I wanted, but he was always a good person. I could always rely on Sonic. What would happen if Metal and I got along, but he was told to kill me when I least expected it?



... Why did I feel so empty when learning Metal wouldn't send me flowers anymore? Why did I feel so full when he wrote--...



Ugh... My room was suffocating me. I left my house and went to Tails's workshop.



Today was grimy and rainy, so I knew Sonic would be inside. I walked in to predictably see the brothers playing video games together. They both mumbled a hello at me, but they were clearly taken by whatever they were playing.



I sighed and crossed my arms. Maybe I shouldn't...



"Just a sec," Sonic started. He paused the game, while Tails flew towards the kitchen. Sonic looked at me fully, propping one of his elbows up on the couch arm and resting his head in his hand. "Amy, how are you feeling?" Sonic asked.



He was worried about me? Admittedly, I felt relieved... "I'm okay... Sorry for snapping at you before."



He flailed his hand in dismissal, giving me his signature grin. "Don't worry about it, Ames."



I took a deep breath. "I see you're busy, but I came here to ask if you wanted to go on a date."



"Uhh..." Sonic scratched the top of his head, glancing out the nearest window. "On a day like this? And do you really want to call them dates?"



"Yes, I want to call them dates! Because they're dates!" I raised my voice and balled my fists. "Indoor activities exist, you know. Wouldn't it be good to stretch your legs?"



A part of me wanted Sonic to agree, but another part of me realized I always kinda did this with him. I was so bent on everything being romantic that I didn't always listen to his protests. He let me call them dates because I'd just argue with him. Now that he didn't have the flowers or letters, it was a lot harder to see it as banter.



I think he saw the fight leave my face because he looked actually concerned with me.



"I'm sorry," I said before he could respond. "I'm not feeling like myself. I just... need to spend time with you. Please. It doesn't have to be a date."



Sonic gave me one of those pity smiles. He was cute, but I wasn't sure whether the gesture helped me feel better or worse. "Can we meet somewhere in an hour? Maybe give the rain a chance to lighten up?" he asked.



I nodded. "That sounds good..." I looked away as I tried to think of where to go. "There's a new Chao sanctuary that just opened up in a building near the town square. We could go see the new babies, and should be fine if it's still raining."



"Sounds like a plan," he said, his voice as cheerful as ever. "I'll find it. Take care of yourself, alright?"



"Yeah, you too." I gave him a small wave, then lifted my arm higher to wave at Tails before I left.



Since I had about an hour to kill, I thought I could gather up some old toys I had to give to the new chao. I accumulated a bunch of cute stuff over time since it just called to me, but I actually didn't do much with it other than display. This was a good opportunity to clean up a bit and make those sweet little babies happy.



Plushies, nic-nacs, little figurines... It all went into a box. I still kept some things, including little-me and little-Sonic.



... Was it bad that I kinda wanted to donate little-Sonic? The only thing stopping me was that it was a gift from Belle. Agh... I left it there. He was doing no harm, and little-me could have the dream that was slipping away from me. There was no struggle as a plushie...



...



It was time to go see some chao.



The rain from before turned into a relentless storm. Lightning struck from overhead and my umbrella was struggling against the wind. I made my way to the sanctuary building and quickly moved the box of toys inside before anything could get too soggy.



Whew... Dry floor at last. I closed my umbrella and watched the downpour through clear glass doors. The weather made me think of when I fought-- No. Stop that right now, Amy. I was feeling nostalgic for the wrong things and for the wrong reasons. I was second-guessing my desperate attempt to feel normal with Sonic again. What an awful day...



As if on cue, Sonic dashed through one of the doors. He grinned at me, then rapidly shook off all the water. Some of it splashed on me! I giggled and swatted him back with some of droplets.



"Hey, now that's a laugh I like to hear," he cheerfully said to me. My heart fluttered a little. Maybe things would be okay.



"Oh, hush," I teased back. "Did you have a refreshing run?"



"Yup. Feeling pretty hydrated!" he joked. I smiled at him, then followed his gaze as he went to the box I carried in. "What's all this?"



I told him about the toys, then he offered to carry them to the front desk. We went together to the sanctuary and got to meet the cutest group of chao. Some were young, some old, some reincarnated. Many of them were orphaned or abandoned by awful race gamblers, so they struggled living in the wild on their own. I hoped a dedicated visit would make them feel special.



The chao helped me take my mind off things and I found myself focusing on them much more than Sonic. Whenever I did look at him, something was... I don't know... Gone.



It wasn't Sonic's fault. The sparkle in his eyes was the type of sweetness he'd give anyone. His words weren't as... special. I felt awful. I was betraying myself. I tried so hard to not think about what was lost between us, but... No... I couldn't let this take over my life. I needed to go forward.



"Sonic?" I asked him a little quietly. A chao fell asleep on my lap and I didn't want to bother them.



"Hmm?" He looked over at me.



"I know you believe there is good in everyone, but I was wondering..." I carefully considered how to continue my thought. "Do you think they can love and be loved? Even when they're evil?"



Sonic offered a piece of fruit to a different chao, then turned towards me, his hands on his hips. He looked up and let out a soft grunt. His focus went back to me. "Well... yeah. Choosing the wrong side doesn't make you incapable of love and being loved. Like... Eggman has Sage now. Eggman's not less evil, he just... has a daughter he cares for. Sage clearly loves him back, but neither hesitate to fulfill whatever awful agenda he has going on."



"What if two people were on opposite sides? Do you think they could get along?"



"I'm sure it'd be more difficult, but everyone has to start somewhere, right? Giving someone a chance could open their hearts to goodness. At least, that's what I think." He gave a firm nod. "But that doesn't mean they can just get away with evil acts, either."



"Yeah..." I sighed and let his words linger in my head for a bit. "Thanks for humoring me."



"Not a problem at all," he confidently replied. "I'm just glad you're talking to me."



I guess it was nice to chat. Our talking was different than before. But... Maybe change was a good thing. No one ever grew from being stagnant. Thunder rumbled so loudly that I could feel it where I sat.



"I'm not really... Good at advice or anything, but if you want to talk about anything, I'm here for you," he said to me.



He really was so sweet. He deserved all the love he could get. I gently moved the chao off of me and pulled Sonic into a hug. He let it happen, even hugged me back.



"I do love you," I said. "I always will. You know that, right?"



He laughed a little. "Yeah, I don't think I could forget."



"Good..." I tightened my hold a little bit. "And I'll always help you if you need it."



We let go of each other and he gave me a sincere gaze. "I know I can always count on you, Amy."



I smiled back, but the way his expression changed told me it didn't reach my eyes. "I'm just..." I sighed. "I was thinking back to the argument we had yesterday. I've been figuring stuff out, I guess. I didn't think the flower thing would mess with me, but it did."



"What's going on there? Are you gonna tell me what that's about?" Sonic asked, scratching his head.



"I..." I couldn't tell him the whole truth. I didn't want to. "I found out that I've been receiving flowers from an abandoned Eggman facility. I thought it was a scheme, but it's not..."



Sonic listened to me with full attention. "Do you think whoever gave them to you is doing work for Eggman?"



"I'll know eventually," I muttered. "I'll be back to a hundred percent sooner or later. Being with you helped." I smiled again and he seemed to be happier with that one.



He put his hand on one of my shoulders. "There's never been a problem you couldn't solve. I believe in you, Ames."



I decided to not tell him that the problem was that I solved the problem. But... his support meant a lot. Maybe we weren't the soulmates I thought we were, but I was so happy to have Sonic in my life. And... it was okay to not know what was coming next.



We had fun playing with the chao together, and eventually the rain settled enough for us to leave without soaking ourselves. Sonic walked me home, then ran off to do whatever he did.



Another long bath called for me. I got out of my muddy boots and damp clothes and decided to melt away my stress with a tub of hot water and an overabundance of bubbles. I didn't realize how tired I was until I dozed off just a few minutes after getting in.



All feelings were exhausting. Positive, negative, didn't matter. I groaned to myself and leaned my head against the rim of my tub.



Well... I was more sure of my relationship with Sonic, though it was far from what made sense to me for all these years. So I guess, to truly figure out everything...



Was I really considering talking to a killer robot? A killer robot that knew how to tend to a garden, at least. For... several years. The writing was also a lot more eloquent than I expected...



I sunk deep enough into the water that it was nose-level. I sighed out and sent a few of the bubbles flying. When I really thought about it, I could count the times I was alone with Metal on my hands, and two of them were in the past few weeks.



I thought about more of the letter...



You left something just for me that Sonic could never take. The way you looked at each flower for the first time was all I needed. It was the greatest gift, a gesture that couldn't be confused or mistaken for another.



I dunked my head underwater. I couldn't believe I remembered those lines word-for-word... If I stayed underwater for long enough, I wouldn't be able to tell if my face was hot from the heat or from thinking too much.



I wanted you to feel warm too. I love you.



...



I slowly lifted my head back up.



I finished cleaning myself and wrapped myself in my favorite fuzzy robe after I got out. From there, I went to the desk in my room and shuffled through the drawers for a piece of paper. I began writing.



The rain stopped.