My reality was a nightmare.



I was created to surpass Sonic the Hedgehog, grant him an agonizing defeat and strip him of all he held dear. I believed, for so long, I was better than him. In my most desperate moments, I even believed I was the embodiment of all that could be Sonic the Hedgehog. But I was not. I never would be. All I knew, truly, was failure.



...



I wished I was him, but not for why I was created, not anymore. I did not desire his comfortable life and I would never find this world precious. But... He had the affections of Amy Rose.



My problem started many years ago when I was still one of my Master's newer creations. Victory was in my grasp, but I failed. My Master was angry with me. I was angry with myself. I had confidence I wouldn't repeat my errors from my very first confrontation with Sonic the Hedgehog, but I did. So, clearly, the only option was for me to rust away.



Amy Rose found me months later. I startled her to the point of her attacking me, but I didn't want to fight her. I had no... motivation. For some reason, she kept encouraging me to get up, even pulling me up herself. I still preferred rusting away, but she didn't let me. She dragged me across an entire island to take me back to my Master's base at the time.



I snatched her right from her 'darling' Sonic's arms on our very first encounter. I was cruel to her. Both my Master and I were her enemies... it just didn't make sense. But... she helped me anyway. She, for some reason, saw value in assisting me. She saw value in me. I wanted to know more about her, about the kind of person who would help someone like me.



I couldn't help her in return, but I wanted to say... thank you. I left her a flower, and from a distance, I saw her reaction to it. The way she smiled... It made me feel warm. I didn't know how else to describe it, but... I wanted to see her reaction again. I continued to leave her flowers and eventually cultivated my own garden. I felt even warmer when she looked at the ones grown by my skill. I wanted to grow flowers worthy of being given.



One day, she left a letter for me. The words on paper made me overload. I wanted more letters. Our gift exchanges became a pattern between us, unbroken even after all this time. The warmth confused me, but it was all I wanted. I wanted to look at her and see her smile.



Our next encounters excited me. Her strength improved immensely and she had boundless anger. I wanted to defeat her, but not in the way I did the others. I didn't want to punch her in the face or rip her out of existence. I didn't know what I wanted to do with her. I just knew I wanted to be there with her.



Only after debilitating research did I realize I was experiencing infatuation for another. Love.



Her passion was intoxicating. Her devotion to her beliefs. She was unrelenting, powerful, kindhearted in a way that didn't sicken me. And she...



...



Even when I struggled with who I was, if I had any meaning, I thought of the letters she gave me. She wrote how much my flowers meant to her... how they made her feel whole on her worst days.



I loved Amy Rose...



But in one of her letters, she addressed me as Sonic the Hedgehog.



... Amy Rose did not love me.



She believed he was the one who sent her the flowers. I experienced a feeling I did not like. More intense than anger. More crushing than defeat. Worse.



"Uhh... Big Bro?"



I snapped back into my present moment. I looked down to my left to see Orbot giving me an all-too-hopeful stare.



"You've been more quiet than your usual, uh... quiet. Perhaps throwing me into a colorful hoop of your choice would improve your mood?" Orbot clapped his hands together.



I watched the small spherical bot with my arms crossed. I was doing some monitoring in the surveillance room in hopes no one would bother me, but I could always count on Orbot and Cubot to fail any set expectations.



"Hey, wait! You always throw him! Throw me instead, Big Bro!" Cubot waved his hands as he entered the room, then retracted into a cube when I glanced at him.



"It's because I'm a ball shape, you moron! I'm more satisfying to dunk." Orbot retracted as well.



"But I make a fun clunky sound! See, watch." Cubot unfurled, then retracted again, clicking into place.



"You can't watch sounds, you imbecile!" Orbot retorted. They went into a competition of opening themselves and clicking into their base shapes, over and over.



Orbot and Cubot's clamoring for attention didn't annoy me as much as it should have, which ironically was what annoyed me. That being said, I wasn't in the mood. I grabbed them both by their heads and chucked them at the closest wall.



KA-THUNK! Ding!



A hoop came out of the wall and they both went through it... Huh, I forgot the surveillance room had one.



"Yaaaaay!" they both shouted. I left the room before they would follow me and ask me to throw them around again.



My Master was busy with a project in his laboratory and permitted me to go on patrol, so he wouldn't notice if I slipped out. There was nothing to do at the base, anyway. I made my way to the front entrance and sped off to the outskirts of the base where I wouldn't be spotted by anyone.



There used to be more of a reason for me to go out this direction...



...



I went to my garden at the old underground base. There wasn't any reason to maintain the flowers anymore, but it felt like a waste to get rid of them. Little Planet would be traversable in less than a month, so I could take care of them until then and plant them there. Funny since I did the opposite when I was actually stationed there.



Flowers themselves didn't mean much to me, not in the same way my inferior counterpart treasured them. Everything could burn into ash and I'd be fine. But... I liked what the flowers made me think of.



I was not Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy Rose did not love me. Our goals, our missions, were on opposite ends. I needed to think of her less, because the feelings I wanted to explore would never come to fruition. We were locked into a cycle of battle that I couldn't break.



I decided to grow a special flower so beautiful that it couldn't have possibly been a gift from Sonic. I would also deliver it by my hand; I wanted her to see me as I was at least once. Then... I could continue into the next phase of my existence, whatever that may be.



This particular flower took me a year to grow. I had to breed the flowers for the colors, the shape I felt was the most optimal, the amount of petals... It had to be perfect. The best flower.



And... it was. But a singular problem remained:



It didn't help me move on.



I gave Amy Rose the final flower a little over a week ago, but she still consumed my thoughts.



How fitting that our last exchange of gifts came after a swift battle of instinct. She reacted to my presence in a way I expected. For what it was, I enjoyed it, though my focus was more on keeping the flower undamaged. She calmed down when she realized I was not trying to fight her.



I could usually read her face after receiving every flower, but I wasn't sure what she was thinking the last time. Pity? Sorrow? An ounce of affection? Maybe all three. She was still like a statue, but her cheeks were as pink as her fur. I thought she wouldn't take the flower from me, but she eventually did.



I don't know why I had hope for anything to begin with. I acted in error. No one was ever nice to me before and it messed with me. It was never supposed to mean anything, because I'm not someone who deserves kindness. I wasn't made to deserve kindness. I was never bothered by this aspect of my reality.



But I was still... sad.



I touched a petal of one of the flowers, purple and blue. It was like silk. Pretty, delicate. Born to be on a doorstep it'd never get to.



I didn't uproot any of the flowers I grew, so they all re-sprouted over time. The special one I spent so long maintaining was already trying to grow back. I couldn't grow and repair in the same way.



I sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. At least the facility was quiet. I could just let time pass. If I was lucky, I'd rust away.



I closed my eyes and waited for just that.



"Metal!"



Was he serious? My Master called for me through my communicator. He never seems to need me unless I decide to leave the active base, and even then, it's for menial grunt work. Was I not supposed to be his greatest creation? I was tired of this cycle. Sage wouldn't have to deal with--



"G-get back from your patrol! There's some uninvited rodents scurrying the halls!"



...!

I sped out of the old facility and went as fast as I could towards the active base.



As I approached, I saw smoke billowing out of a new, torn-through opening of a building. There were destroyed pawns everywhere. Distant explosions, energy blasts. I scanned the map for a trail-- there. I went around to the other side of the base to take an alternate route.



There were two of them: Sonic the Hedgehog and his partner, Tails Prower. They foolishly marched into the base by themselves. But the question was... why? While my inferior counterpart fought off the pawns, Tails was using a device to hack into one of the computer terminals. I readied to strike the Fox first...



"I can't find anything, Sonic!" he exclaimed. "I'm not sure she's here or anywhere around here." He already got the information he was looking for, whatever it was. I didn't care about him anymore.



"Did we really cause trouble for no reason? There has to be--"



I charged towards Sonic and slammed him against the nearest wall. The impact knocked the wind out of him. Just looking at him made me so angry. Wiping his face off of this earth would be a proper cure.



His shocked expression turned into one of smugness. "I was wondering if you'd ever show up!" he said.



"Sonic!" Tails bounded towards me.



Angry. I threw Sonic as hard as I could away from me and blocked Tails's attack. If he wanted to be destroyed as well, so be it. I wasn't in the mood to play.



They both righted themselves and they looked at each other. Sonic pointed towards me, smirking. "We haven't had a good race in a while, Metal. I know you can't resist."



I wouldn't be able to resist turning him into a stain in the ground. He took off in a blue streak and I went after him without a second thought. I didn't care if he was distracting me for his annoying friend.



We chased each other around the base. Walls were broken, bots were destroyed. My sole goal was to rob his life with my hands. We collided our heads with one another, bounded back and launched at each other from walls.



"Last time we danced, you ran away. What was that about? Didn't you call me a coward before for making a tactical retreat?" He spoke to me whenever we were close enough.



I punched him hard in the face and sent him spiraling into the ground.



He groaned, holding the side of his face. "Oogh... A little feistier than usual--!!"



I barreled down towards him and jabbed him with my legs. The wind was knocked out of him again. He quickly grabbed me and threw me aside, launching himself back up and spindashing to me. I blocked his hit, but his force caused me to skid backwards.



"I can't help but feel like you have something to do with this, Metal," Sonic said to me as we faced off again. I didn't know what he was talking about. I swung him away and sped towards him before he had a chance to curl up into another ball. I crackled with electricity and aimed right for his insignificant form.



He narrowly dodged me and I crashed fully into one of the walls. My systems had to recover for a few seconds, but damage was minimal. I turned towards Sonic again and prepared my next strike.



He was less interested in fighting, more interested in running. Fine. He took off before I could hit him, so I chased him until I could find a good opportunity.



"Not gonna talk? I guess I'm used to it," that insufferable rat said to me. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him. Every time I swiped my claws at him, he was just barely out of reach. I was about to go into overdrive again just so I could strangle him. "You seen Amy around?"



...! What was that supposed to mean? Did he know about my affections? Was he making fun of me?



I managed to grab him and slammed him down into the ground. We were outside again, near the gates. No more racing. He should die.



Hate. I hated him so much. I hated him more than the world he wanted to protect. I hated that he existed. I hated that he was loved. More than anything, I hated that killing him would never change the truth. I clawed into his neck. He looked very surprised. I would show him a surprise.



I dragged him away, then launched him to the sky, outside of the base. I saw the Fox grab him from the air, but they didn't return to the base. I took several minutes to calm down.



Krssht. "Good job, Metal. I think he's gone. Now--"



I turned off the communicator before my Master could tell me to clean anything up. I was done.



I was about to fly to literally anywhere else, but suddenly, I couldn't move. I knew this feeling, and I hated it almost as much.



"Metal Sonic," I heard Sage's voice from behind me. She floated in front of me, her arm extended. She had seized control of my limbs, her eye glowing a brighter cyan. "Father would like to speak to you. I expect you to not fly away before his instructions are complete." Her stare was cold, serious. She used her control to switch my communicator back on.



"--DARE you!! I am your creator!! What kind of fool do you take me for?! Get back here this instant!!" My Master had been yelling the entire time I had the communicator off.



'Let go of me,' I told Sage. She could understand me.



She studied me for a moment, then let go. Her eye dimmed. I walked away from her and went towards my Master, who was likely set up in his throne room. Sage floated behind me like I was a pet that needed a leash.



"Why did you turn the communicator off?" Sage asked. By her tone of voice, I think she was genuinely curious, but her prodding didn't annoy me any less.



'I completed my task,' I replied to her. Knowing that wasn't enough, I added: 'I need to tune myself before additional assignments.'



She knew I didn't want to talk to her. I wasn't going to pretend we were 'family' like she had with my Master. I thought I was closer to my Master until I wasn't, because of her. One day, the same would happen to her.



"Father will provide the maintenance... Though, you undoubtedly angered him by ignoring him. This could be seen as an anomaly in your programming..."



Oh, here we go again. I'm not exhibiting anomalous behavior... I'm just tired of them. I decided to not answer her.



"... Your behavior has been... more erratic, as of late. Is..." Her voice faded for a second. "... Would you like to... discuss?"



Why did everyone want to talk to me so much? Orbot and Cubot, that loathsome Hedgehog, my Master, and Sage, too. Couldn't everyone just leave me alone? I glared at Sage. That said enough.



"... Okay," she said quietly. "If you ever change your mind, I am happy to discuss any subject. I am still new to feeling emotions... I cannot say anger has been one I discovered for myself yet. I wish I could provide some solutions from my own experience."



'It is not necessary.'



She brightened from my reply. The silence between us was slightly less tense and I found myself less annoyed. We went through the base's long hallways and ended back up in the throne room. My Master calmed down in the time it took us to get there, completely reclined in his throne and only scrambling up when he saw me and Sage.



"The nerve of you! You're lucky you successfully chased them out!" he practically hissed towards me. The frustration quickly vanished from his face and he gestured me forward. "Urgh... Come here, Metal."



I walked up to him as he brought out a small repair device for me. I held out my arm for him to fix any dents or wiring that came loose. I didn't suffer much damage at all... Sonic preferred to give me the run-around, so he escaped with many more bruises from me instead. When my Master finished my repairs and checked me over, I slowly nodded my head towards him in gratitude.



He let out a sigh. "I have another job for you."



I lifted my head towards him. I was very curious... it didn't sound like cleanup duty.



"The reason those two foolishly entered the base was because they thought I held one of their other friends hostage," he explained, flailing his hand in dismissal. "They essentially ruined my home for no reason!! So... we're going to ruin them. Go find Amy Rose before they do and bring her back here! I'll let you know what to do afterwards."



...!

They were searching for Amy Rose? She was missing?



"Father, do you have a plan?" Sage asked.



"Sweetie, this is what we call diabolical spontaneity. At worst, if I think of nothing, it'll ruin their day and be a minor inconvenience to me. At best, I'll have Sonic the Hedgehog in the palm of my hand, and he'll no longer be in my way for world domination."



She smiled and clapped her hands together. "That sounds excellent, Father."



'Did they have any idea of where she could be?' I asked.



Sage tilted her head as she thought. "The two-tailed Fox acquired some schematics of the current base. I do not believe they have a specific area in mind, especially now that they know we do not have her."



I tried to not act overly interested. I bowed my head to my Master again, then sped away.





How long had Amy Rose been missing? I should have been the only one with the skill to hold her hostage. Considering there were no other major threats nearby, I believed there was a larger possibility of her disappearing on her own. Interesting she didn't tell all of her allies.



As superior as I was to Sonic the Hedgehog, he wouldn't make a decision foolish enough to enter my Master's territory unless he had no other options. She was unlikely to be in her home or with others she knew. I stopped by her house from a distance... her car was there. She wasn't too far, then.



I thought back to her many letters. She sometimes mentioned locations she visited to be alone, like the snowy peaks or the rainbow garden past the meadow. Her emotional state would determine her decision, and since she didn't tell Sonic, she was likely not very... happy.



Amy Rose liked to surround herself with busy lights and colors to distract her from her own turmoil. She had fond memories of places like Casino Park and had a date with that waste of space at Twinkle Park. Both locations were too far without driving, so she was somewhere within a day's travel. I went towards the amusement park in the next city.



If didn't know what the best course of action would be upon finding her. Capturing her would only cause her more distress, but I couldn't disobey my Master. Sonic believed I had something to do with her disappearance... Did she tell them about my confession? Was Sonic... correct?



The sun was going down, but I made it. The amusement park was a predictable swath of multicolored lights and movements of simple machinery. I didn't see her anywhere from a brief scan-- No, wait. There she was. I saw her enter a less populated building with a disturbing creature's mouth as its entrance; it reminded me of something my Master would construct. I landed when no one else was around and entered.



There were dozens of mirrors in inconvenient and annoying positions. I couldn't focus on the mirrors themselves because they messed with my perception. I scanned a line to follow on the ground--



Thunk! What--



I smacked into a mirror. Rrrgh... This building was useless. I moved at a frustratingly slow pace to navigate myself through the maze and find Amy Rose.



...!

I saw her. She walked out of my vision just as quickly, but I knew it was her. I followed the path to the best of my ability, though I became annoyed enough that my urge to smash through the mirrors increased.



I discovered a large circular room bordered by mirrors. Lightbulbs on the ceiling were small and dim, mimicking the stars. Amy Rose sat in the middle, at first looking at the lights, then at the ground. I wanted to approach her, but...



I had a mission to capture her. That being said, my Master didn't tell me when to capture her. I waited for the proper moment.



"Amy!"



What? Sonic the Hedgehog entered from the other side of the room. I hid in a blind spot from the mirrors.



"... Sonic? What are you doing here? How did you find me?"



"You went missing and we couldn't find you anywhere! What do you mean?" Sonic told her in a hurried cadence. "Come on, let's get you out of here."



Amy crossed her arms as she looked up at Sonic from the ground. "I just wanted some time to myself and I got a hotel nearby. Did you think I was kidnapped or something?"



Sonic stared, shocked. "You... came here on your own? Then why did--" He gasped and took her arm. "Let's talk about it later. We followed Metal here and he'll probably come for you any second."



"What? Metal's here? Wait--"



Sonic scooped up Amy and quickly ran out. I was followed? My behavior continued to be reckless... I must've been too focused on Amy's whereabouts to check my surroundings. Since he knew I was here, I needed to keep my performance up.



I took off towards the other side of the room and smashed through several mirrors as I created my own exit. I saw a blue streak in the distance and put my turbine in overdrive to catch up to him. I followed him outside of the amusement park and deeper into the city.



I lost track of him. I flew up high in the air and scanned around, but I couldn't see him anywhere. He must've stopped to hide somewhere. I used my best estimate of when he stopped and began searching that area.



I heard a familiar voice in the distance. I approached cautiously.



"Don't be so loud!" I heard Sonic say with a hushed tone.



"No!" Amy snapped. "You used to get onto me for being so clingy, and the one time I decide to not tell you where I am, you're getting onto me?! And you take me somewhere else without even gauging how I feel?"



"Amy, it's Metal! Do you think he'd give you time to prepare for a fight? I'm just trying to keep you safe!"



"Well, maybe I don't want you to rescue me!"



They were quiet for a little while. I took pleasure in her yelling at the Hedgehog. Eventually, he replied: "Uh, okay, I'm a bit confused. Maybe we got off the wrong foot."



"Yeah. We did." Her voice was low. "... I just wanted a small vacation for myself. I haven't seen Metal at all. And if I did, I'd handle him long enough to find you guys."



"Something is so weird," Sonic grumbled. "I don't know how he found you. He lost track of us, but..."



"You charging through Eggman's base probably didn't help," she sneered. "I can handle myself. If you're so worried about Metal, go race him. I'm going back to my hotel."



"Hey, wait. I have a bad feeling. Let me go with you... Please."



Amy grumbled something to herself. "Fine," she said.



The two went somewhere else. She certainly didn't sound happy with Sonic... it increased my affection towards her. I cursed myself for dwelling on her words. Still, I had to pursue them. I followed behind, maintaining enough distance that I was out of sight.



I tracked them to the hotel Amy stayed at, which was a tall building full of sliding-glass doors and leafy balconies. I watched them from a nearby building; they went to the same room together, but they were too far away for me to hear. I could see a glimpse of them through the balcony door. After a few minutes, I saw a streak of blue go through the streets. Sonic was gone.



My opportunity had arrived.



I went to the top of the hotel building, then descended between walls so that I wouldn't be seen by anyone else. I clung to the balcony of Amy's room and climbed into it. She was sitting on the bed, turned away from me and hunched over.



She was... sobbing. I didn't know why. I didn't know what Sonic said to her. Did he make her cry? He would die.



...



I opened the sliding glass door and entered, then shut it just loud enough for her to hear. She immediately turned to look at me, then hastily wiped her eyes. "Wh...what are you doing here?" she said, her voice weak.



I wasn't sure what to do. I'm honestly not even sure why I entered the way I did. I hoped I would figure it out while I stood there.



"I'm tired of seeing blue hedgehogs. Go away."



I did not go away. I stayed there and watched her.



Eventually, she sighed and stood up, facing my direction. She looked tired. "Have you been following me all week or something?"



I shook my head.



"So you only found out because he went to your base." She crossed her arms. "Then how'd you know I was around here?"



I averted my eyes, considering how to answer. I wasn't exactly sure how to gesture my response, or really what I wanted to say to her at all. I just... knew she would be around the amusement park if she wasn't happy.



"Nevermind," she sighed. "I don't know what's worse... being irritated at seeing Sonic or being relieved at seeing you."



She was relieved to see me? I pointed at myself.



"Yeah, you." She averted her eyes, taking a while to form her next statement. "... I've had to do a lot of thinking. But... I'm not ready to talk to you yet. Give me some time, okay?"



She wanted to talk to me at all? I was incredibly confused.



"... I guess there's one thing I can say," she muttered.



I watched her curiously.



"... I'm sorry I confused your flowers as gifts from someone else. My feelings about the flowers... they haven't--..." She didn't complete her sentence and instead ran her fingers through her quills. She didn't speak for a while more. "... They're... beautiful. Especially the last one you gave me."



Warm.



I walked closer to her, which she allowed. I gestured to her face.



"What?" she asked.



I gestured again, hoping to bring attention to her tears. She wiped her face, looking away.



"Are you asking why I was crying?"



... I gave her a single nod.



"It doesn't matter. But... Thanks." She smiled a little at me. Warmer.



I wanted to steal her away but only for myself. I similarly wanted to respect her request of 'giving her some time', but I was told to bring her to my Master. I wondered if all scenarios were possible at the same time.



"I'd like some time to m- AHH!" I scooped up Amy Rose and burst through the balcony. At first she squirmed, but then she saw how high we were and clutched onto me tightly. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" she screamed. "Do you have any idea what 'go away' means?!"



She was fuming instead of crying. I preferred her anger.



"Y-you broke that door!!! I was still paying for that room!" she yelled. "Let me go right now or I'll make you! I'll knock your dumb pointy head into orbit!!"



I'd like to see her try. She growled from frustration... It amused me. She leapt out of my hold and tried to put me off balance by pressing herself against me-- I quickly attempted to right myself. Before I realized, her legs were locked around my head.



She brought all her weight over me and forced me to spiral downwards! I regained my balance just before hitting the ground, hastily grabbing for her to prevent her from steering me any specific direction. I was still on a steady route to my intended destination outside of the city.



--!!

I narrowly dodged a building and took myself higher in the air.



"Hit the ground!" she snapped while struggling with me. In a swift movement, I threw her off of me, then I re-caught her before she could hit the ground. I held her tightly against my body to constrict her from fighting me with her arms.



She was facing me. Her cheeks turned red and she suddenly stopped screaming at me. I looked down at her... she was breathing fine, so she must've finally given up. Her behavior was different than her usual.



I made it to a forest clearing, open enough for combat but private enough that there would hopefully be no uninvited guests. I put her down and backed away before she could hit me-- which she tried.



"Why did you take me here?! You really know how to piss me off!"



I decided to play back a recording of my Master for her. While I would try to take her as commanded, I wanted to give her a chance:



Krssht! "They essentially ruined my home for no reason!! So... we're going to ruin them. Go find Amy Rose before they do and bring her back here!"



Her eyes went wide. "Wh-- you're supposed to kidnap me? And only because Sonic was there earlier... Can Eggman think of something original?! Wait..." She tilted her head. "... You... didn't take me to Eggman. Trying to play both sides, huh...?"



I leaned in and prepared an attack position.



"I got bad news for you, Metal," she huffed, kicking a nearby tree. It completely split apart and collapsed to the ground. "I'm not in the mood to play today." She wielded the tree trunk like it was her hammer. Her strength was impressive.



Good. I sped towards her.



Our confrontation was similar to the one we had outside her house. I dodged her heavy hits, but she was able to keep me away with the length of the tree. I managed to pry it out of her hands and shred part of it with my claws, but she just as quickly improvised a different weapon.



I liked battling her. It was... fun.



I did not think she was having the same experience at first; each movement of hers was to completely knock me offline. She yelled in frustration, sometimes breaking the ground below her with each unsuccessful swing. At some point, her movements became more swift and her swings less violent. She was more focused.



She managed to smack me into a tree and lodged myself between it and the trunk she used to hit me with. I briefly saw static.



When my vision cleared, Amy Rose was gone. I moved the trunk off of me and surveyed my surroundings. I was a little disappointed she did not want to fight more, but she made the smart decision. I would not have stopped. Even if she managed to evade me each time, she would eventually get too tired. However, with her out of my sight...



I could pretend the battle was over. Goodbye, Amy Rose.



I sped towards my home.