The time has come.



All the work... the time... the stress... It all led up to this.



I handed Nova their watering can. "I will trust you to care for my flowers when I am absent," I told them as we both stood in my flower garden. "I will be around as much as possible to monitor your skill and correct you if needed-- and it will be needed." I glared at them.



"Chao?" They sniffed the watering can, then looked at my flowers.



"Yes. I will kill you if you harm a single petal." I gently touched one of the nearby flowers. "They are all for Rosy. Do you understand?"



They stared at me for a while, then a heart appeared above their head. I crossed my arms.



"Good. Nova, water."



Nova fluttered higher in the air and checked each flower. I deliberately watered some and left others just to see if Nova would notice...



They passed over some of the watered flowers, then gently watered the first one that needed it. I nodded in approval.



"The ones from Tidal Tempest need more water than usu--" I watched as Nova did actually water one of the Tidal Tempest flowers the proper amount. "... Good."



Nova hummed to themselves as they watered each flower, then fluttered over to the fountain to refill the can. They resumed... each one was perfect. But there was one final test. I only partially watered one of the flowers.



"Chao?" Nova sniffed that particular flower... And watered it just a little.



... I was impressed. I gently petted Nova. "You did well."



Another heart formed above their head. I carried a pouch of candied berries, one of their favorite snacks. They weren't allowed to have too much though because they would overindulge and get sick. I offered them a small bunch.



Nova gasped--



"Put the can down first," I emphasized, moving my palm away.



Nova gently placed the watering can on a nearby table. I nodded, then offered my palm again.



"Chao!!" They eagerly grabbed the berries and practically devoured them. I petted them once more.



"I will officially teach you the door code, though I have a feeling you know it," I grumbled, rolling my eyes.



Instead of reply, they stared at me blankly, a stray berry on their face. I picked the berry off with the end of one of my claws and re-offered it to them.



Chomp!



"You are... something," I sighed. I walked over to the door and waited for them to join me. From there, I openly-- and slowly-- typed the door code in front of them. The door opened, but I just as quickly closed it again. "Now you try."



Beep, beep beep beep, beep! Nova typed it very fast. The door opened and they fluttered out like they'd done it a million times. I tried to not think more about it for my own sake, but at least I knew they would take good care of my flowers.



"Metal!!" I heard Belle's voice in the distance. Her heels clacked against the floor as she stumbled over to me when I entered the hallway. She clenched her fists, a certain sparkle in her eye. "We're... W-we're going to hang out today! Pl...please."



I tilted my head. "Was that your attempt at being forward?"



"... Yeah, I'm still working on it," she muttered, shuffling her feet. "Can we hang out today?"



"... Yes. I do owe you a trip to the library you mentioned before."



She lifted her head. "Y-yeah! That's exactly where I wanted to go!" she beamed. "It'll be a good break from the routine. Uh, my routine, anyway. You've kinda been doing whatever."



I squinted. "I've been very busy," I said. "I've only been able to see Amy the past few nights..." I thought for a little while. "... Actually, maybe I should spend the day with her. Could we go to the library tomorrow?"



"NO!"



... That was actually forward for her.



"S-sawdust, sorry, I'm... Uh... The library will close tomorrow! I think! For uh, maintenance."



I stared at her for a while longer.



She hung her head. "Not much a liar either, huh? Okay. Please just humor me today," she whimpered.



Belle was making her best attempts to hide something, likely related to Amy since she was so adamant about me not seeing her. Humoring Belle was the most merciful route. "Okay. I will not ask about your strange behavior."



She looked completely relieved. I closed the garden door behind Nova and me, then bid them farewell before I traveled with Belle. I shifted into my disguise as we went for the exit. Since the intent of our outing was to spend time together, we decided to walk.



The library Belle wanted to go to was in the middle of the city. Belle and I talked about whatever was on our minds as we made our way there, notably none of our thoughts being related to Carillon Rose. She was almost completed, but neither of us wanted to think about the last bits of work for the moment.



I hoped Carillon Rose's reboot would be successful so the decision of removing my coding was less on my mind. I felt like I was going to do it, but... I wanted to choose the right time. Maybe the next time I spent time with Amy, I would talk to her more about it. She always helped me understand my thoughts better.



Belle and I were talking about the hypotheticals of how I would use my engine if I had wooden casing like hers. She argued I would be even faster, while I simply disagreed; I was superior as I was.



"I'm just saying there's fireproof lacquer," she hummed. "It's not like the inside of you is made of wood, either. Look! Knock on my arm!"



I sighed and opened a panel at her arm, revealing her metallic insides. She yelped and drew her arm back.



"H-h-hey!" she squeaked, quickly closing the panel. "I know where your access panels are too, you know! You're lucky I can't do it right now!"



I was amused. "I would be lighter, but having enough weight is important in my own functions too. I would crumble if I were made of anything less," I huffed. Discussing my turbine made me want to race. I sighed again: "Let's talk about something else. I want my turbine."



She giggled. "You'll always prefer that, huh?"



"Yes. Would you prefer to be anything else?" I asked her.



Belle's eyes widened. "Huh... You know, no one's asked me that. But... I think I would always like to be as I am, too," she said with a smile. "Maybe sometimes I wish I could do something an organic person can, but... Maybe they feel the same about me, too. The grass is always greener, as the saying goes."



"What saying? I don't understand."



She smiled more. "The full phrase is, 'the grass is always greener on the other side'. Basically, other people might seem like they have better situations than us, but if we switched places, we would just have a whole different set of problems. It's best to just enjoy what you got!"



I thought of her phrase for a little while. "I understand the sentiment, but I find it bewildering any organic person would want to be a robot."



"Eh, there's probably people out there." She shrugged. "Think of all the reasons you like being yourself. I'm sure there's some robots out there that want to be organic, too."



"I used to," I admitted to her.



"R...Really?" Belle stared, wide-eyed. "Did being Kai change your mind?"



"No, I changed my mind far before that. Even when I wanted to, I don't think it was something I truly desired. I am better regardless."



She rolled her eyes, smiling again. "Alright, then."



I flicked one of her braids. She swatted at me, making me push her little. We both stopped when we saw the library.



The building itself was large and ancient in comparison to its incredibly modern surroundings. It had aged stone architecture and huge, colorful windows. It almost had the appearance of something more mystical. Belle eagerly grabbed my hand and walked inside with me, eventually letting go to clasp her hands together in awe.



The library itself was incredibly open, bordered off by different sections of bookshelves. There were several seating areas, categories, even stairs up to a second floor far above our heads. The ceiling was incredibly tall and rows of bookshelves were just as tall, stretching upwards with dozens of rows of books in varying size and thickness.



Individuals with wings fluttered above what was unreasonable to reach, grabbing different kinds of books to deliver to others or to the front desk not too far from the entrance. I could've gotten Nova to reach for specific books if I brought them... I wasn't sure how to command them to tint themselves purple, though. They kept their deep blue sometime after their visit to Vanilla the Rabbit's house.



Despite the outside of the building's older appearance, the inside was very clean and modern. Belle and I walked on shiny wooden panels, occasionally stepping onto elegant red carpeting. There was a change in the air that made me feel somehow calm. I couldn't properly describe why.



"I was told there's some manuals I can find for my projects," Belle excitedly stated in a quiet voice. "I might venture to that section before I look around everywhere else. Is there anything you're interested in?"



"I'll look around for anything that catches my eye," I replied.



"Cool! Let's find each other at one of the tables in a little while," she said as she pointed towards one of the empty tables further down the walkway. I nodded at her, then she made her way to the front desk. I decided to explore various sections of the library on my own.



I didn't mind spending time with Belle, though I enjoyed the solitude as well. There were people around, but everyone was quiet. Very peaceful.



I found myself in a section full of different reference books and guides. There were a lot of chao caretaking guides... I picked a brightly-colored book off the shelf and checked through it. A lot of plain information I knew already. I put the book back... Hmm. But it made me think about what Amy told me when we went on a shopping trip together.



Nova could live as long as I could. There was still a lot of information I didn't have about chao. I thought finding something about their biology, maybe even history, would be useful for me; I could shapeshift into Nova and do everything they could do, but that didn't necessarily mean I understood them. I wandered to the appropriate sections to find the books I wanted.



I did know beforehand that chao were heavily linked to Angel Island. Thinking more, they had their links to Kronos Island too, connections that Sage also shared. While looking, I found some books about wildlife and there was one dedicated to chao in its entirety. Skimming through confirmed there was a lot I could gather. I kept the book and searched for one that went deeper into documented history.



I wondered what I could learn from going directly to Angel Island... I'd been there before for less informational means. I would have to be pretty covert. Maybe Amy could cover for me... I'd think about it more later. With a shrug, I continued looking, then grabbed a few more books that took my interest.



I continued walking, intending to go find a table... until I saw an entire book section dedicated to gardening. The books I had back at the old base preceded me in age. I wondered if there was anything new... I wanted to look.



My knowledge and skills in regards to flower raising and breeding were immaculate. Still, reading as much as I did about flowers helped me increase my skill as I learned along the way. I would never stop bettering my skill until it was impossible. There was a more technical book about flowers that caught my interest, so I grabbed that one as well.



"Ooh, fancy yourself a gardener?"



...!



No. I turned my head, hoping I was hallucinating. I was not. The Hedgehog was there, smiling widely at me. Hate. He had a few books in one of his arms. I wished he would take them and go away. Forever.



"... Sonic."



"Hey, Kai! I thought I recognized you walking around. What brings you here?" he cheerfully asked. His voice was too loud.



I clenched my teeth. "Books."



The Hedgehog chuckled. "Okay, yeah, that one's on me. Crazy, but I am, too. Returned a few, so I'm getting a few more to take back," he said, showing the ones tucked under his arm. "Is this your first time here?"



Hate. He wanted to talk to me. I had to be nice. "Yes."



"That's awesome. This is my favorite library in the city, though I have some recommendations if you prefer something cozier. Oh-- on that note, too, is there anything you're looking for? I'm happy to help."



"No."



He made a friendly motion of dismissal with his hand. "Alright, no worries. Oh, just one more thing. I wanted to say thanks again for helping at Amy's birthday party. It couldn't have gone well without you!" he beamed. "I know we don't know each other well personally, so it meant a lot that you still trusted me. Thanks."



I took a deep breath. "You're welcome," I replied.



His aggravating smile to me softened. "I'll get outta your quills. Enjoy your books! Let me know if it's a page-turner," he joked.



I stared at him, unamused. "I doubt you would be interested in flowers."



"Hey, you never know! I think they're pretty neat, in any case." He chuckled again. "Alright, I'll--"



"H...Hello..." A child attempted to get Sonic's attention from behind. He turned around and slightly leaned over. The child continued: "Are you, um... Mr. Sonic the Hedgehog?"



"Hi! That's right, little buddy. What's up?" asked Sonic.



The child's face brightened, showing a drawing of the Hedgehog himself. "Y-you might not remember, but you saved me and my family from gettin' squashed by zombots a long time ago... Um, this is for you!"



Sonic slowly took the drawing with an exaggerated gasp. "Whoa...! This is amazing! Thank you," he excitedly replied. "I think I do remember you! Glad you're doin' okay!"



I saw the child's mother not too far away. The child briefly looked towards her, then back to Sonic. "Um... Can I ask a question before I go?"



"Yeah! Go ahead."



"Who's the toughest guy you EVER fought?"



I paid more attention to their conversation than I intended to. I stood in front of some books, but I wasn't actually examining the titles.



Sonic hummed aloud, tapping one of his feet as he thought. "Geez, that's a tough one... I think the toughest person I ever fought was my friend, Shadow the Hedgehog. We started off on a big misunderstanding-- whew, really big misunderstanding-- but now we're great pals!"



Shadow? That was his choice? Shadow the Hedgehog? He was not even remotely close to the toughest adversary he ever faced. He insulted me. No, he more than insulted me. He disgraced me.



The child was pleased with the answer. Disgusting. "That's so cool! I hope to be as strong as you someday," the child erroneously said in return.



Sonic grinned. "I believe in you, buddy!"



"G'bye, Mr. Sonic!" The child eagerly waved, then ran off. Both the child and the mother went away. I wanted to shred something.



Sonic turned around to look at me. "Oh--" he quieted his voice. "Sorry about that. You know how it is."



"Shadow?" I asked before he could leave. Impulse took me over, but I couldn't stop. I was so angry.



His eyes widened. "Well, yeah. One of my greatest rivals, for sure. The news kinda downplays what he can do."



I tightened my hold on my books. "I don't understand," I replied. "There are countless foes you faced. Ones stronger than you, ones faster than you. You have fought gods. Why him?"



"Fighting is more than just strength and speed. Shouldn't winning against the 'gods' you mentioned prove that?" He asked with a raised brow.



"Yet, of all of them, you choose Shadow as the strongest adversary."



Sonic let out a more dramatic sigh. "We're gonna have to draw a line in the sand here. I get you've done, like, research. With what you're holding, research is clearly your thing. I respect that, alright? But you're not a fighter and you weren't actually there. These kinds of things are hard to put int--"



"Not a fighter?" I replied before he could finish. "What do you know about me, Hedgehog?"



"Dude, I could say the same to you, except I've been way nicer about it."



I clenched my teeth. "I don't want you to be nice. I want you to be honest." I stepped closer to him. We were nearly face-to-face.



"Guess fresh starts don't mean much, huh," Sonic mumbled under his breath. "I don't know if Shadow strikes a chord with you or something. Here's one thing I do know: you clearly like Amy, so let's relax and--"



"I love Amy," I growled back. "And you will not tell me what to do."



"Alright-- what's your problem?" Sonic asked back, scowling. "Is your issue that Ames and I are friends? Is that why you still have such an attitude?"



My hands were shaking. I clenched my fists tighter. Be nice. I couldn't. I wanted to kill him. Be nice. No.



Sonic continued: "Nothing? Well, here: she and I are staying close. I hope we can one day talk on better terms, but you have to work on your insecurities, buddy."



............



Sonic walked a few steps away from me, turning when I grabbed his arm.



I punched him. Not hard enough. I dropped my books.



He was knocked into a pillar. It didn't crack. Not hard enough.



His nose was bleeding. He scowled at me as he quickly righted himself, dropped his books, then sped over to me. I couldn't run as fast, but I could move with just as much agility. Not a fighter? I would show him. I would kill him. He should die.



"You want honesty?!" growled Sonic.



I swung again, but he got out of the way. He swung at me too. Finally, he did something worthy of action. I blocked his fist, then punched him hard in the stomach. My swiftness caught him by surprise. He underestimated me. He always underestimated me. He thought Shadow was better than me, despite all I did. All I did because of him. He thought everyone was better than me.



No. I was better. I was better than him. I was better. I was better.



The wind was knocked out of him, but he recovered quickly. The fight was real then. He finally took me seriously and used both his full speed and strength. I felt the impact when I blocked his next hits. He forced me back with a kick. We were out in the open. No obstacles.



We went after each other at the same time. He tried to read my strategy. I was faster. I was better.



He punched me too. I felt nothing. I punched him again. I kept punching him. Whether or not he blocked me, I didn't care. I would break him. I wanted his blood all over my hands.



I hated him.



It was all I could think about. Hate. I hated him. He should die.



He kneed me in the stomach, forcing me to keel over. He grabbed a handful of my quills, then punched me hard, knocking me onto the floor.



"You think Amy wants this?!" screamed Sonic. "You think this isn't out of line?!"



I'm sorry. I hated him. I'm sorry, Rosy. I couldn't control myself. I tried. I couldn't. I hated him so much. I hated that he said her name. He didn't deserve to say her name. He didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve her. He didn't.



I headbutted into his chest with all my power. He sucked in a gasp. I knocked him down too. I pinned him to the ground.



I grabbed his neck. I tried to punch him, but he blocked it with his hand. He grabbed my wrist, trying to release my grip. I squeezed his neck harder.



Hate. I hated him so much. I hated him more than anything. I hated that he existed. I hated that he was loved. More than anything, I hated...



He looked very surprised. My vision was blurry.



"Let go!!! Please!" cried out Belle.



I glanced at her. She was beside me. A whole crowd of people gawked at us from a short distance. I didn't notice them until that very moment.



...



I let go. Belle pulled me off of him.



"Oh no," was all she said. She was horrified. She went for Sonic next.



I wiped my face and pushed through the crowd. I left the library. I left.



I didn't know where I was going until I was at Amy's house. I couldn't focus. I wanted to... to change, to shapeshift, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. My arms were stuck. I forgot where my house key was.



Amy swung the door open right as I got to her doorstep. Concern shrouded her face. I didn't know what I looked like to her. I already knew how she felt. I made a mistake. I was out of line. I failed her.



"I'm..." I heaved. I had trouble speaking and my breathing was irregular. My vision was blurry. I could not see her. I didn't know what was happening to me.



I was scared.



She pulled me inside and I let her. I couldn't move on my own.



I wanted to speak. I was scared. She probably hated me. I was out of line.



I was worse.



I held her tightly. If I let her go, she would never come back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to say it out loud, but it wouldn't come out. I couldn't say any words. I tried.



She held me tightly too. I heard her heartbeat. I didn't deserve to hear it. I'm sorry.



I was worse. I'm so sorry. I didn't deserve her, but I didn't want her to go. I didn't want her to leave me.



"I'm here," she said softly to me. Her voice was so beautiful... "I'm not going anywhere, my love..."



She responded to me even though I didn't say anything out loud. Maybe I did say it out loud. I didn't think I did.



She held me tighter. Her body was so warm... she was warm. I clutched the bottom of her dress. I couldn't move my legs. I heard her heartbeat and felt her and then I felt like I could function again. We were on the floor in front of her door. I didn't know how long we were there.



It was very quiet. Her heartbeat was calm.



"Are you feeling a little better?" she asked.



"I'm sorry..."



She shook her head. "It's alright, Metal... You apologized a billion times," she said, smiling. "But maybe you can tell me what you're sorry about."



"I am worse... I'm worse than everyone. I'm worse."



"Metal..." She ran one of her hands through my quills. "Says who?"



"Everyone."



"Well, I don't agree, and I'm part of everyone."



I pressed my head against her chest. "You have poor taste in men."



She chuckled. "No, I think I'm doing pretty well in that department..." She rested her head against me. "Who did you have a fight with?"



"... Sonic."



She let out a softer sigh. "Maybe I put too much pressure on you..."



"I failed you."



"No, you didn't. I'm not mad at you... I'm not even disappointed." Amy sighed again.



"You should be. I wanted to fight him. I was so angry... I couldn't control myself. I'm sorry." I lifted my head away from her, but I couldn't bear to look at her. "It was all I could think about... It took me over. I'm... I'm sorry. I am hideous."



She took my chin and tilted my head over to face her. "Hey... Look at me," she said, her tone soft.



I finally looked at her. She stared at me with the love I didn't deserve.



"You have to remember your favorite letter, right?"



...!



She continued: "You felt the pull towards depths you feared returning to. So... what are you doing next?"



I was quiet for a while. "I must know that I am... more."



She nodded at me. "You are. You're so much more." She leaned in and kissed me. I didn't know what to do... I was frozen. "You're not worse at all... And you're beautiful. Don't make me mad by saying all that," she said, slightly more firm. Her change of tone felt nice.



"You are the most beautiful," I replied. "I love you more than anything."



She hugged me again. "I love you more than anything, too. I'll always love you with my full heart, Metal. You don't have to talk to Sonic anymore. Not for my sake. It's fine, seriously."



"It doesn't bother you?" I asked.



"No, it doesn't," she replied with a smile. Her gaze was so gentle. "You've done so well, Metal. You've done so much that I didn't expect you to do so quickly. I believe in you... And I'll always believe in you. But... you're only a person."



I stared at her, surprised.



"We all have our limits. Don't misunderstand me-- you're very strong and capable. The things that bring us to our limits the most are things that hurt our hearts, things we can't fight so easily. It takes a really, really long time to overcome it. You haven't been Kai for that long, you haven't interacted with my friends that much. It's okay that you don't have it."



Her words made me feel safe.



"It's so easy to hate... It's easy for everyone. It takes a really long time to unwork that hate... But you'll be okay. I remember you told me that love takes an even greater part of you." She caressed the side of my head.



"I understand," I quietly replied. She used my own words towards me, which was surprisingly effective. I needed to hear them.



"Let's get off the floor," she said with a giggle. She stood up and helped me up with her.



I slowly let go, but I stayed close. "I... wronged Belle, as well," I muttered, looking away.



"Let's make it up to her later, okay? Take the rest of today to cool off."



I nodded. "I'm... going to lay down."



She smiled more. Her expression was as warm as she was. I loved her... I couldn't feel empty with her there. "I'll check up on you in a bit," she softly told me.



I took a brief moment to examine her face and feel her gaze. It calmed me... I needed to be alone, though.



I went to her bedroom and I lay on her side of the bed. I held one of her pillows against me. This time, I chose to not move.